1. Nick Stockton, author of the article Extremely Hopeful and Incredibly Freaked Out: How We Feel About Designer Babies, argues two sides of the debate on genetic editing by appealing to emotion in order to show the cultural beliefs. He also establishes credibility by using logical rhetoric like quotes from reliable sources and conveys his critiques on the debate by contextualizing the issue.
- A two sentence thesis statement seems to work best for this text because there is so much that needs to be said. I am having a hard time connecting in my thesis statement the connection between the message the author is trying to get across and the rhetorical strategies he uses to do this.
2. Nick Stockton, author of the article Extremely Hopeful and Incredibly Freaked Out: How We Feel About Designer Babies, argues the two sides of the debate on genetic editing and gives critiques. Stockton does this by appealing to the emotions related to the audience's beliefs, uses logical rhetoric to establish his own credibility, and contextualizes the situation about how to prevent this debate from going the wrong direction.
- This thesis statement does a better job separating the message the author is trying to argue, and the rhetorical strategy he does that with. The first sentence introduces the article and the author and tells the message the author is trying to get across. The second sentences introduces all of the rhetorical strategies the author uses to convey this message. The second sentence is in a list format and I would like to change that.
I could not write any more thesis statements that were drastically different than the first two. I found it difficult to vary the way I worded things in my thesis statement. Suggestions are greatly appreciated!
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| Ekarafi, Areta."Writing an Essay." 5 Oct 2011 via Flickr. Creative Commons. |
After reading Jenny and Annalise's draft thesis statements I noticed that all of our thesis statements were two sentences. This format works best because there is so much to include in the thesis statement, so to prevent a run-on sentence it is best to state the thesis in two. Also, a common strategy to improve our thesis statements is to combine our two draft thesis statements into one. This will actually be harder than it sounds because while both drafts have similarities, it will be difficult choosing which combination of the two is best. After reading 4 other thesis statements and then my own again, I have more ideas about how to go about improving my thesis statement.
Hi Rachel! I think you have a good start. I know that I was frustrated creating my very imperfect theses. We have all this information to fit into max three concise sentences...very challenging! I think that the first sentence of both of these could be reworded to flow a little bit better and also include some strategies used by your author. For example, "Designer babies and genetic editing is a new controversy (author) has debated through his use of (rhetorical strategy) in his article "(article)". " That's very rough but just a suggestion! Also, for the second sentence see if theres any way you can combine all your evidence without listing it in a row. If you cant, totally fine! I just think it's always a little better to do so. I hope my suggestions help, I can see you have great ideas!!!
ReplyDeleteI think both of your thesis statements are very strong--they seem to convey both the rhetorical strategies that the author used as well as his overall argument. I agree with Annelise when she gives the suggestion of perhaps rewording the first sentences to be smoother. I think that the second one is stronger than the first, primarily because of the way that the information is developed and introduced. You did a great job following and meeting the requirements in the Student's Guide text, by providing info on the context, author, the overall purpose and rhetorical strategies. Just consider playing around with the wording of it, and then you are golden!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the fact that this paper requires a 2-3 sentence thesis. All my the theses were 2 sentence long. Personally, I prefer the second thesis, but I feel like there is some lack parallelism in the last sentence. Personally, I would write "Stockton does this by appealing to the emotions related to the audience's beliefs, using logical rhetoric to establish his own credibility, and contextualizing the situation about how to prevent this debate from going the wrong direction." or something along those lines. This way, the verbs "appealing", "using", and "contextualizing" are all in the same form.
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