Clarity Part 2

The four topics I chose to read about are prefer active verbs, eliminate distracting shifts, provide some variety, and choose appropriate language . I am going to write about what I learned about each topic and how I can apply them to improve my own writing.  

• prefer active verbs- It is important to use active verbs when writing because they emphasize the meaning stronger than other forms like the verb "be" or using passive verbs. In active voice the subjects are doing the verb, whereas in passive voice subjects are receiving the action. This is helpful for my writing because I tend to use passive voice without realizing and need to make sure I revise and stay in active voice.

Here is an example where a sentence used passive verbs, and how it improved by the use of active verbs. 

• PASSIVE: Also, the embryos used for ESC research are obtained from leftover in-vitro fertilization and because they will ultimately be destroyed, should at least be put to use in research facilities.
• ACTIVE:Also, researchers use embryos that they obtain from leftover in-vitro fertilization. Because facilities are going to ultimately destroy these embryos, research facilities should put the embryos to good use.

Changing the verbs to active creates more clarity about who is using the embryos, how they are obtaining them, and why using embryos for research is a better solution.

• eliminate distracting shifts- This section helps a writer avoid shifts in their writing that may confuse the reader or sound bad when reading. Ways to eliminate these shifts are use a consistent point of view, use consistent verb tenses, make verbs consistent in mood and voice, and don't use shifts from indirect to direct quotes. I know that this is a big issue for my writing, especially shifting verb tenses and having awkward transitions between quotes. I am going to use this section the most when revising my draft. 

• provide some variety- This helps make a piece more interesting and not sound so monotonous. Some ways to change sentence variety are by different opening statements, using different sentence structures, or even inverting sentences. Reading a draft out loud makes it easy to catch sentences that sound the same and from here you can apply different techniques to sightly modify them. I have this issue when paragraphs all are structured the same, so I need to include variety so all the paragraphs don't sound the same. 

There is a paragraph in my QRG where the sentences lack variety in opening statements. Half  (3/6) of the sentences start with the phrase "President Obama".

• President Obama recognized the importance of stem cell research and wanted to promote scientific advancements for diseases. 
• President Obama has to speak about the stem cell controversy because he took the issue upon himself. 
• President Obama is helped by a team of two bioethicists

By inverting the sentence or changing the opening statements, this paragraph will sound less mundane and will interest readers more because they won't be reading the words "President Obama" every sentence.

choose appropriate language- The language of QRGs varies depending on the subject or the message the author wants to convey. In mine particular, I am using a more formal tone. I learned that within the genre of formal tone there are different types of formality to consider. Each depends on the type of piece one is writing. Regardless, it is important to stay away form several forms of language no matter what tone your QRG is. These include not using jargon, pretentious language, euphemisms, slang, regional expressions, or sexist language.  

Etienne, Stephen. "Magnifying Glass Macro". Mar. 9, 2009 via flickr. Creative Commons.